I suppose in the spirit of turning 17, I should probably do the oh so clichéd post. So here goes.




17 things you probably didn't know about the bitch that is Clarissa Cross.





1. Altogther I've had 57 stitches due to various falls everywhere. Clumsy I am.

2. My first ever crush was on the Tropical Heat man, the one with the ponytail. I think I was 4.

3. I would press my knuckles into my cheeks for hours on end, hoping in vain to get dimples.

4. I stabbed my ears with safety pins as a kid, thinking that was how you got earholes.

5. I used to think sperm would float from daddy to mummy in the middle of the night, and that was how babies got made.

6. I was called for the longest time Oscar the Grouch, Juicy ( Don't be perverted now, I was just a ridiculously fat baby), and the boy that never was.

7. I actually believed Adrian when he told me Mum and Dad picked me up from the bin outside KKH. And that he was a fighter plane pilot who'd land his plane on the roof every night before coming in for dinner.

8. I got kicked by a cow once, while trying to milk it.

9. Despite what I tell you, our dogs Benjie and Sissy commited suicide shortly after I was born.

10. When I was five, some MP lady shook my hand at a meet and greet session. I thanked her by throwing up all over it.

11. I frenched my best girlfriend for 5 minutes straight for 10 bucks. It was hot.

12. I've woken up in the morning not remembering whether I had sex the night before. Seeing half naked men lying next to you is fucking scary. At 15 anyway.

13. I convinced my Primary 3 teacher I was brain damaged and couldn't smell paint cause the doctor gave me the wrong medicine, just to get out of Art that day.

14. I did a striptease/ pole dance thing once at some random chalet when I was very very drunk in front of a hell of a lot of people I didn't know.

15. I have this compulsive need to count everything. In case you were wondering, M&M's packets have about 56-58 M&M's per pack.

16. The longest I've gone without food, not including hospitalisation and all was 52 hours. I kinda forgot to eat.

17. I went four months not speaking a word of English, pretending I could speak Spanish instead. Dad got me to stop by inviting a client from Spain over for dinner and asking me to converse with him.


Quite fun doing this nonsense lah.